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Mad #439 March 2004
- Cover Artist: Mort Drucker
- Masochist Commander: On the Farce Side of the World (Movie Satire)
- The Valet Parking Attendant's Secret Oath
- The Lords of the Bling (bonus poster)
- Monroe and Survivor Jr. -- Part Two
- Are You a Member of Hollywood's D-List?
- The Fundalini Pages
- Mad's Oscar Preview
- If Other Companies Copied the iPod Ad Campaign
- Outtakes from The Simple Life
- John Caldwell -- Rock Solid Indications You Are Too Old For the Goth Lifestyle
- Spy vs. Spy -- Oscar Trip-Ups / Cement Trampoline
- Sergio Aragones -- A MAD Look at The Oscars
- Al Jaffee Fold-In -- What is bigger than ever among American students?
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