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Mad #397 September 2000
- Cover Artist: Roberto Parada
- Gatorador (Movie Satire)
- Letters to Britney Spears
- Alternative Designs for the New $20 Bill
- Spy vs. Spy -- Bank Card-Bomb
- Monroe & The High Seas (Part Two)
- Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Hospitals
- Behind the Scenes at a Modern Health Spa
- Legitimate Gripes of Your Average Serial Killer
- Dave Berg's Lighter Side
- Modern Celebrity Couple Dilemmas
- Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds -- Featuring The Taco Bell Chihuahua
- Mad's Modern Military Course Catalog
- Selecting the Right High School Clique for You
- Sergio Aragones -- A MAD Look at Swimming Pools
- Al Jaffee Fold-In -- What change to the landscape do environmentalists fear the most?
- Back Cover -- The Rock Concert
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