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Mad #381 May 1999
- Cover Artist: Scott Bricher
- Diary of a Tomb Raider Fanatic
- How the NBA Plans to Win back the Love of their Former Fans
- Pop Up Porno Videos
- Tofu Times -- The New Age Newspaper
- Instant TV Reviews
- Monroe & Las Vegas (part one)
- Spy vs. Spy -- Domino Tank Crush
- Brutally Honest Flight Attendant Announcements
- Mad's Science Fiction Primer
- A Guide to Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong
- Scenes from the Antiques Freakshow (TV Satire)
- Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds -- Featuring Oprah Winfrey
- The Paranoid Psychotic's Guide to Foiling Paparazzi
- Sergio Aragones -- A MAD Look at Hotels
- Sub-brainy The Teenage Wretch (TV Satire)
- Introducing Gravel Vista Gardens -- Mad Advertisement
- Al Jaffee Fold-In -- What epic struggle will resume this summer but fail to live up to its predecessor?
- Back Cover -- Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions - Special All-Smoking Edition
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